In January 2016, I will be launching a 6 week small group Eating Psychology course to help you let go of dieting and start living life.

But I need your help to shape what this course looks like. Do you have 5 minutes to help me with a bit of market research? I promise that's all it takes. And what's more, you could win 3 1:1 coaching sessions with me on Skype to help you on your way to developing a nourishing relationship with food and your body. Or if you prefer, you can win a place on my brand new course starting in South East London in January 2016. A great long term, sustainable alternative to starting a punishing and gruelling diet in the new year.

To help me, and to be in with a chance of winning this opportunity, please complete the following survey by Friday 27th November: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LKXSW5D

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, and hopefully working with you in the future!

If group coaching is not for you, and you're interested in booking some personal sessions, you can read more here.

And finally, please sign up to my mailing list here to be the first to hear about my new course next year.

Helen x

 It’s Monday morning… What does that mean for you? Back to work? 300 emails in your inbox? ‘Back on track’ after a naughty, indulgent weekend? Starting your umpteenth diet so far this year, because you haven’t quite managed to find the willpower to stick with it longer than a few days/weeks?

If that sounds familiar, I’m here to let you in on a few secrets, and to be the bearer of good news… willpower is not the issue. There are a number of underlying contributing factors to people’s challenges with weight, body image and their relationship with food, but willpower certainly isn’t one of them. So many of us are perfectionists – trying to keep a tight control over what we eat, how we look, and how much exercise we do. It’s not surprising given the messages we are constantly being given by the media in terms of how we should look, as well as daily new research telling us what we ‘should’ eat. But sadly, just around the corner from perfectionism often comes self-abuse when we’re not able to do things as perfectly as we like.

Who really knows how much you should weigh? Who really knows what you should be eating? There’s only one person, and that’s YOU. ‘What, little old me?!’ I hear you say. ‘(insert name of latest diet here) tells me exactly how much of what I should be eating. I just need to exert a little more willpower, and eat what I’m told, and I’ll be skinny in no time so I can start living my life!’

You may not believe it just yet, but you have inner wisdom which tells you exactly what you should be eating. It just needs to have a voice and stop being ignored.

Diets are not sustainable – if they were, then why have so many people been dieting for decades? Yes, they work in the short term, but how many times have you or someone you know started yet another diet, only to regain the weight when it’s not sustainable? This piece of research comes with a public health warning, demonstrating just how dangerous diets can be. On average, I reckon I started at least two a year for 20 years. You do the maths! Absolutely ludicrous when you put it like that.

Stress plays a huge role in our excess weight. When our body is in a stress response (otherwise known as fight or flight mode), our sympathetic nervous system dominates, and our system goes into shut down to preserve energy for the fight. We struggle to digest our food, excrete essential nutrients, and flood our system with excess cortisol and insulin is certainly a contributing factor when it comes to excess weight. Calorie burning is at its all-time low.

So all those years of stressing about dieting, and beating yourself up for having no willpower has been having exactly the opposite effect. Showing yourself some self-love and compassion is more likely to help you achieve your ultimate goal.

How many times has your body been yelling at you to feed it, but you’ve ignored it because you’ve already eaten 1000 calories that day, and you really musn’t eat any more? Trying to control your appetite is almost as crazy as trying to control your breathing. You need oxygen to live. You need food to live. Ignore your appetite for long enough, and you’ll more than likely find yourself bingeing on absolutely anything you can get your hands on… out of date crackers that have been hiding in the back of your cupboard for a year… fifteen low fat chocolate bars… raw mushrooms out of the fridge… spoonfuls of marmite! Which I have no doubt will closely be followed by beating yourself up for having ‘no willpower’.

Restricting your calorie intake can also cause your body to go into starvation mode as your body goes into shut down because it thinks it’s being starved. Your body actually needs a lot of calories to keep its metabolism going.

And how often do you make yourself go to the gym when you’re exhausted, or you’ve got a niggling pain in your back; just so you can burn off that chocolate bar you so naughtily had earlier on in the day?

Please rest assured, you are not alone, and it’s not your fault! This is a hugely collective issue which unfortunately so many people suffer alone and in silence.

Having been a chronic dieter for over 20 years, I finally plucked up the courage to experiment with dumping dieting about 18 months ago. It’s like saying goodbye to your best friend and your worst enemy all in one fell swoop. It’s both lonely and liberating. What if you gain weight once you let go of control? Where do you focus your attention now? You’ve always been trying to lose weight for as long as you can remember, so what will you think about now instead?

How about trying to live your life as if you’d lost all the weight you wanted to and not waiting until you are thin; or working on getting a little more pleasure in your life? What about giving your full attention to your loved ones, and being fully present in a moment rather than being pre-occupied and tormenting yourself because you’ve eaten too much? Loving your body as it is now and not allowing numbers to rule your life? Hating your body into weight loss doesn’t work.

For me, I found the answer to that question in turning 20 years of upset, pain and stress into something positive; training as an Eating Psychology Coach to help others transform their relationship with food and their body.

There really is another way to live your life, and I’d love to be part of it with you. I offer 1-1 coaching sessions to help you develop a more positive relationship with food and your body. Click here to find out more.

I take a deep breath as an old friend tells me yet again she needs to lose weight. I hold my tongue. I feel my stomach churning. I feel the adrenaline start to work its magic, and my breathing gets faster. I dread this conversation we all too often have.

I really don’t know what to say. I’m scared if we continue down this road, I’ll get sucked back in to the all too familiar dieting tunnel of doom. ‘Oh if she needs to lose weight and she’s much smaller than me, then I really MUST lose weight’. And I’m scared that if I start imparting my recently acquired knowledge, I’ll be ranting for the next three hours and she’ll be sorry she started this conversation. Not everyone wants to hear what I have to say, and I must respect that.

She looks at me, expecting a response. I tell her I don’t know what to say. I tell her that I may go off on a huge rant, and she’ll be sorry she mentioned it. But she’s still waiting for me to say something. And in reality, I get the sense that she wants to hear what I have to say. I get the sense she wants me to tell her she is beautiful as she is and doesn’t need to lose weight. I sense that she needs to hear the permission she has longed for most of her life to stay just as she is. The permission to feel ok about her body just as it is. The permission not to have to look like everyone else and not to have to diet. The reality check that she won’t be loved any more than she already is if she loses weight. And an acceptance of the few pounds she may have gained because of a very tough few months in her life.  

And that’s exactly what I do. The passion about this subject burns up inside me, and half an hour later (after my predicted rant), I see a sense of relief on her face. And on mine. I feel so unbelievably grateful that I have finally woken up from the fantasy dream and horrendous nightmare I had been living for so much of my life, believing that my life would be complete when I lost weight.

I am elated that instead of being sucked back into the tunnel by talking with my friend, I was able to share some of my views on the subject. I now have my eyes wide open to the things that really matter in this world. Open to the things going on inside me, and in the world around me that have contributed to this feeling of lack of self-worth until I was thin.

It makes me so upset that we have been brought up in a society where we perceive it is not acceptable to have body fat. It is not our fault that we believe this. The media has a huge amount to answer for, which allows people in the street to shout abusive words to people that don't meet society’s perception of ‘acceptable’. The way that it’s ok to fat shame celebrities, and for magazines to be promoting extreme diets.

I was idly browsing the magazines during my lunch hour the other day – almost all of them had some kind of negative message about weight on the front – ‘lose 7lbs – diet secrets of the celebs’. If it’s not about losing weight, it’s about bulking up for men – ‘get a rugby body’. What sort of message is this giving to the current population, let alone the future generations? We are so much more than our bodies!

The half an hour rant with my friend is not going to have woken her up from her nightmare dream which is such a reality for her right now. But it might have made her stir for a bit.  End of current rant. Thanks for listening. And if you’ve been affected by this blog in any way, please pass it on. I believe we all have a responsibility to pass this message on, and share this little secret. With our friends and loved ones, our children and parents.